GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — June marks Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, emphasizing the importance of conversations about emotional struggles—a topic often sidelined in the past.
Talking openly about one's emotional battles can be crucial for mental well-being, as underscored by advocates and professionals in the field.
Rick DeVault, a mental health advocate with the "I Understand" men's support group, recalls the silence surrounding emotional discussions during his upbringing in the 1980s.
"I was born in the 80s, raised in the 80s, men were taught to suffer in silence. You know, when we were kids, we were taught, you know, you don't cry, you don't show emotion. You basically have two speeds. It's calm and angry," DeVault said.
DeVault shared his personal experiences of a turbulent childhood filled with abuse and the trauma of losing a close friend to suicide at age 17.
These moments often lead individuals to feel isolated. "You feel alone. You feel like you're going through things that nobody's ever gone through. You feel like your feelings and emotions and fears can't connect with anybody else, because nobody knows what's inside of your heart," he explained.
Catherine O'Neal Weber, a clinical psychologist with the DBT Institute of Michigan, strives to dismantle the stigma surrounding emotional expression among men. "Men have been taught in society to keep a stiff upper lip. Men are tough. We don't show feelings where, you know, feelings are weakness," Weber remarked.
Weber encourages individuals to find supportive groups and environments to express their emotions authentically.
"Find some people who you can open up around. You know, I think there are more and more of us out there every day," she advised.
The ethos of openness and vulnerability led DeVault to join the "I Understand" support group, which offers men a chance to share their struggles once a month.
The group spans ages 18 to 84, addressing diverse issues such as substance abuse, addiction, trauma, grief, and surviving suicide. "There's men from 18 to 84 men with substance abuse issues, addiction issues, trauma, grief, I mean, suicide survivors. It runs the gamut, but that core belief is that we're not alone," DeVault said.
Connecting with peers who share similar experiences can be life-saving, DeVault believes. "The truth of the matter is, that more often than not, other people know exactly how you feel. They might not know what you've been through specifically, but that core fear of being alone is almost across the board with everybody," he noted.
The "I Understand" group convenes on the second Monday of each month. You can find out more details on how to join here.
For those facing immediate mental health challenges, Weber encourages reaching out to crisis helplines like 741 or 988.
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