ZEELAND, Mich. — More than a decade after the death of 15-year-old Zeeland East student Zach Kroll, his family continues working through their nonprofit, Love and Lean, to keep his memory alive and reduce the stigma surrounding mental health.
Not a day goes by without Lori Kroll thinking of her son.
“He always had a laid back personality, very gentle, quiet spirit about him, but he also had a sense of humor that was crazy, like just witty one-liners and jokes, he was always making people laugh and smile,” Kroll said. “A compassionate heart, he would be the one to pick up someone’s books if they fell, and he’d be late for class, but it didn’t matter.”
Whether he was playing the drums or on the soccer field, Zach put passion into what he did.
“He was an amazing drummer. He was in the the drum line. And, yeah, he really enjoyed that,” Kroll said. "He was athletic. He played soccer through middle school, and then once he started high school, he focused more on the drums. And, he got a job at 15 years old at Culver’s."
Zach’s death in 2015 shocked the community.
“When it happened, the community, our family, his friends — everybody was in total shock, because Zach was the kid that made everybody laugh and smile, and was always upbeat,” Kroll said.
Kroll said her son had been masking struggles with depression.
“He told me everything, and I just don’t understand why he couldn’t share with me his struggle with depression. But we had no clue. Not a clue. There were no signs at all,” she said. “We would have moved heaven and earth to help him if we would have known.”
She said the stigma surrounding mental health struggles was greater 11 years ago.
“It just breaks our heart that he didn’t reach out. The shame and the secrecy — that’s what’s challenged us to help make a difference in other people’s lives, and to decrease that shame and secrecy,” she said.
The Kroll family soon began advocating for open mental health conversations.
“His life purpose didn’t end when he died. I feel like it just keeps being carried on in a different way, like it’s part of our story now,” Kroll said. “It’s part of his story, it’s part of God’s story that we’re just continuing to reach people and making mental health everyday conversation, and having people feel like they’re not alone in this.”
The advocacy started with participation in the Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan’s Stomp Out Stigma Walk in Grand Rapids in 2016.
“That next year, we had about 50 people — like Zach’s friends, some of his teachers, family — all gathered in Grand Rapids at the Stomp Out Stigma Walk, and we walked in memory of Zach there,” Kroll said.
That walk inspired a local effort.
“I had lunch with a friend, and we thought, that was cool, but what if we could do something here in this area for our own community, still supporting the Mental Health Foundation,” Kroll said.
The name “Love and Lean” came from a dream Lori Kroll had after her son’s death.
“About a year before, I had had a dream and it was Zach’s voice that I woke up hearing him say, love and lean, love and lean, love and lean. And it was like, okay, I don’t know what this means, but I’m going to get up at two in the morning and write it down,” she said. “He always loved stick figures. He would draw on his school assignments or the whiteboard at work. And I started drawing some of the stick figures that went with Love and Lean."
The event has grown into an annual 5K at Zeeland Stadium, now part of the Love and Lean nonprofit.
“This will be our fifth year with adding the run. We started with 50 people at Stomp Out Stigma, and it’s grown over the years. Last year we had about 650 gather,” Kroll said.
The 10th annual Love and Lean Walk/Run will be held the morning of Saturday, April 25, at Zeeland Stadium.
“There’s just such a sense of community that day where everybody’s coming together — maybe they’ve lost a loved one to suicide, maybe they’re struggling themselves and feel alone, maybe they’re walking alongside somebody,” Kroll said.
The event includes sidewalk chalk messages, signs made by local schools, memorial signs and live music along the route.
“We have a guitarist and soloist in the wetlands, so that’s more of a reflective part of it," explained Kroll. "There's the seventh-grade Cityside and Creekside Middle School band that will be playing music and pushing people to the finish line. We also have connection beads, so however mental health has affected you, you would wear that color beads."
Over the years, the Krolls have raised thousands of dollars for the Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan. This year, funds will also benefit three other nonprofits: Team Be Better, i understand, and Winning At Home.
Although she wishes her son were still alive, Kroll said she believes he would be proud.
“I think he’d be really happy to see the progress made, that hopefully we’ve saved other lives because we’re opening up about our experience and our journey,” she said. “He would give me a big hug and say, good job, Mom. I missed you, but good job.”
You can register for the 10th Annual Love and Lean Walk/Run here.
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