A mother’s journey through pregnancy and infant loss

Posted at 8:42 AM, Oct 26, 2016
and last updated 2016-10-26 08:38:57-04

JENISON, Mich. -- Anita Miron keeps a picture of her sweet baby Jack on her mantel every night. While she lost him in a miscarriage, she loves her little boy the same way she loves her little Scarlet, who is now four.

Yet Miron often finds herself thinking of Jack's future, like his first steps and dropping him off at school for the very first time. But Miron will never get the chance to experience those milestones.

Baby Jack

Baby Jack

Approximately one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage and October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month. For many of us, the loss of a child is unimaginable. Miron is hoping that others recognize her pain and the grief many parents face.

In an effort to raise awareness, FOX 17 is sharing Miron's story.

On May 24, 2016, baby Jack arrived, weighing in at 3 pounds and 5 ounces. Miron says in that moment she fell in love with him, though she knew he wasn't alive.

"To look at his lifeless body, to just want him to laugh so bad, to want him to open his eyes and to look at you and to coo and ah, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I was helpless," Miron said.

Hours before the delivery, Miron found out during an ultrasound that Jack was no longer had passed away in her womb.

"I looked up (at the ultrasound) and I could see his body laying over my womb, lifeless, and the wind was taken out of me," she said. She went into labor and held Jack for the first and last time, though today she holds his remains in a stuffed bear that contains an urn with Jack's cremains.

Anita, Eric and baby Jack

"It felt like something was ripped from me. It wasn’t just life it was hope it was the possibility of so much," Miron said."I’m supposed to be changing diapers, up all night with a crying baby, and I feel like I’m missing that. So while everyone else is moving on, I’m grieving harder than I did weeks ago."

Miron suggests that people comfort parents who have such losses. She feels forced to hold on to jealously and anger, instead of her baby boy.

Bear with Jack's urn in it

Bear with Jack's urn in it

"If you know someone who has lost a baby, be there for them. Us moms who are grieving just really want to talk about and celebrate that life, because we’re not done feeling love for that baby."

Since losing Jack, Miron has dealt with both postpartum and grief depression. She feels forced to hold on to jealously and anger, instead of her baby boy.

But out of the darkness, there is light. Miron is pregnant again!

Though she says this baby will never replace Jack, she says the new baby is giving her hope.

The Diocese of Grand Rapids reached out to FOX 17 and notified us there will be a Mass for God's Children November 4th at 7 p.m.

Bishop Walkowiak, from the Cathedral of Saint Andrew, invites parents who've experienced the loss of a child before baptism to the Mass.

All are welcome to attend including parents, grandparents, siblings, other relatives and friends. A reception will follow the Mass. You do not need to be catholic.

A memorial rose and naming cards will be provided to families who've lost a child(ren). To reserve a rose and have your child(ren) remembered on a name card, please contact Mary Pereira by Nov. 1 at 616-240-7896.

Location: Cathedral of Saint Andrew, 301 Sheldon Blvd. SE, Grand Rapids, MI