When you ask yourself what you want out of life, do you ever think, "I just want to be happy"? Gaining, or re-gaining, happiness is an intentional act and it's a good thing to avoid some pitfalls happy people have learned to eliminate from their lives.
Eric Rittmeyer, a mental toughness expert, shares some advice and examples of pitfalls happy people avoid to help make 2020 a happy year.
They never make assumptions
The gut instinct is to just “fill in the blanks” whenever we have incomplete information in front of us. The danger in doing that is we have to make an assumption that may or may not be accurate. A lot of times these assumptions are made based on prior experiences in our lives that likely occurred in a totally different context and had no relevance to the current situation. This opens up the potential for incorrectly assuming something that’s totally false, and possibly leading to unnecessary emotional pain. Mentally tough people always take the time to think things through and never automatically assume someone’s intentions.
They don’t gossip
Mentally tough people know that gossip degrades their own character and steals another person’s reputation. They know the best way to determine the character of a person is by their own personal interactions with them; not by what others say about them behind their backs. They understand that capitalizing on another person’s misfortunes and using things against them during a time of vulnerability is very malicious and a sure-fire way to lose the trust of their friends. In addition to being very mean and providing zero positive benefits to our happiness, it can also end someone’s career and/or destroy their entire family.
They don’t feel sorry for themselves
Feeling sorry for yourself is a natural emotion and it’s ok to do sometimes (emphasis on sometimes). The key is to not let it overrule you. Mentally tough people never indulge in the “pity party” and they understand the adverse impact these thoughts have on their overall happiness. They’re also fully aware that the longer they allow themselves to remain in “pity party” mode, the more difficult it is to get back to a level head. When something bad happens they quickly work through the pain and get back to their normal selves.
They don’t hold grudges
Holding on to negative feelings about someone provides no benefit to your well-being. By not allowing the release of these negative feelings, you’re just creating additional stress on your body by constantly thinking about, and re-living the events that initially caused the issue. Mentally tough people understand that by holding a grudge against someone else, they’re actually just managing to poison themselves. They know the only way to begin the healing process is to let things go, and they’re good at doing just that.
For more mental toughness tips, check out Rittmeyer's new book “The Emotional Marine – 68 Mental Toughness and Emotional Intelligence Secrets to Make Anyone Instantly Like You.”