Morning Mix


Dr. Bitner talks about maintaining relationships and sexual health over time

Posted at 11:29 AM, Jun 12, 2019
and last updated 2019-06-12 11:29:18-04

It's a weighted question: How's Your marriage? What about your relationship? It's easy to answer "good", but could it be better?

Dr. Diana Bitner has learned a lot over her 27 years of taking care of women, including understanding which patients' romantic relationships are healthy and positive. She says it's never too late to build it back up!

Dr. Bitner says from all her years caring for women, it seems couples who stay most connected and continue to be intimate are those who really like each other. "Like each other" doesn't mean love- though it is important in any romantic relationship- but rather getting each other's sense of humor, having the same value, respecting the other and their actions, bragging about them, and so on.

For women over 40, low desire is approximately 30% with a high level of associated distress. They do not want to have low desire, but for reasons they do not know, they might think their desire is gone and can never come back. For a majority of women over 40, the reasons are commonly poor self-image or reduced emotional connectedness.

If these issues are restored, and there is not insurmountable hurt which occurred in the meantime, desire improves. People want to be seen, heard, liked, wanted, and respected-especially in the closest relationship in their lives, and when this goes both ways, it is magic.

For couples struggling, Dr. Bitner recommends following the concepts of "Getting the Love You Want" by Harvill Hendrix. The book describes a longterm healthy relationship as having three key components: understanding why you picked who you picked, giving the other what they never got as a child or from other key relationships, each person asking for what they need, and having the spark of sexual chemistry.

Dr. Bitner knows she is not a marriage counselor or psychotherapist by any means, however she knows that a healthy relationship has a correlation with a healthy body and mind.

Dr. Bitner's office is located at 3800 Lake Michigan Drive Northwest, Suite A. To schedule an appointment with her, call (616)-267-8225.

Read more stories like this on Dr. Bitner's Blog.